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I got a call from the "Future Police'' yesterday. They were investigating a reported ''temporal distortion'' in my area this last week. He assured me that I wasn't in any sort of trouble, and he was just checking in with me to make sure I was okay. He said there were a lot of these "scammers" around in my time, trying to take advantage of ''the elderly". Ouch.
Well, as I told the guy from the future, I am definitely not an "elderly". Not that there is anything wrong with that. But I am most assuredly not old, nor getting old, nor out of touch with any of the Zeit-Geists going on out here in "my time". I am very familiar with all of these "Generation Z" internet content influencer people on the internets. And that whole "6-7" thing? I get it, young people. I'm hip to your jive (the kids still say that don't they). Future Cop
said he was just making sure, and he had a couple of questions for me. Had I received any unusual calls or messages recently? Any interactions or conversations that seemed out of the ordinary or made me feel "out of touch" or "out of the loop"? Had I had the feeling lately, while watching TV, that I had no clue who any of those people we're? (Well I do sometimes haven to call my daughter and ask her if someone on TV is a celebrity or not.)
(Author's note: Wow, I just had a Deja Vu.)
Well now that I think about it, I do remember my good friend Jean, just last week, bought me a gift subscription to Brit Box. Well, actually it was more like a year ago. Boy, time flies. Anyway, in those last couple of weeks, I have been watching a lot of BBC Detective shows and Who-dunnits. Or, you know, for the last year. Okay, this whole last year, I have become obsessed with Brit Box detective shows. Boy those Brits really know how to make a Whodunnit. There's like a hundred of them. And since I don't sleep at night anymore, I pretty much binge Brit Box or Amazon Prime (my son, the Doctor, has an Amazon account). The other day, a message came up on the screen and asked me, "Are you STILL watching BBC?! STILL watching? Really? C'mon, go to bed Grampa"!
You know, come to think of it, yesterday (or maybe it could have been five years ago), I went to Sears and Roebucks to buy a pair of blue jeans for myself. They were so expensive. The last time I went to buy jeans they were like 10 dollars! And that was just a couple of days ago.
And then, after, when I went over to Spencer Gifts, and it was closed! When did that happen. I mean if there is a store with its finger on the pulse of what is cool, hip and relevant in our American culture, it is Spenser's Gifts. Am I right?
And I do also get the feeling, as I told future cop, that when I watch the TV, and commercials come on, I sometimes have NO IDEA what they are talking about or what product they are selling. Or often I have to call my daughter and ask if a person I saw on the TV is a celebrity or not. I often find I repeat myself as well. Or feel like I've said this stuff to someone else before. You know, like Deja Vu. Little things like that.
And the other night my Cousin Ian, the old "I-Dog" messaged me, on the computer internets, and ask me if I had heard the band "The Lucy Show". I hadn't, I told him. I thought I had heard them all. But his taste in music has always been pretty good, so I went down the rabbit hole and gave them a listen. They were okay, as I said to my cousin. Sounded to me like if Morrissey and the guy from the Cure, Robert Smith had a fist fight. And the ensuing scrum sent them crashing onto the keyboard player's synthesizer. The subsequent jingling, jangling, squaucking, and mopey poetic cacophony sounded just about like The Lucy Show. You know, not bad. But no Smiths or Cure. No band does that bit any better. The strange thing was that it said on the YouTubes that the band came out in 1983! That's impossible. My parents weren't even in high school back in 1983. And YouTubes said that the Smiths and the Cure were also that old too. Inconceivable. I ended up messaging that AI guy and we got into an argument about it. She finally told me to turn off my computer and turn it back on again. And don't use the internet. I may have chronic Deja Vu.
But down the rabbit hole I went down anyway, instead of sleeping, I ''Google/Siri'd a bunch of cool
bands from the 80's and remembered the band "The Waterboys". So I typed in, "Hey Google-Siri AI internet guy", what do you think of the band "The Waterboys"? She answered, "The Waterboys are highly regarded as a brilliant, enduring folk-rock band led by Mike Scott, evolving from 1980s "Big Music" anthems to Celtic-infused folk-rock and later psychedelic rock. Known for masterful, energetic live shows, the band is praised for literate songwriting
and consistent, quality releases over several decades". I KNEW it.
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So, I messaged this to I-Dog. I told him to have a Guinness and give these guys a listen. He told me he would. And he also said that, yes, as far as he knew, The Smiths and the Cure were both from the 80's. And didn't I graduate in 1981? Like 45 years ago. That can't be correct. I'm telling you, something weird is going on here.
(Wow, another Deja Vu.)
So that's what I told the Future Cop guy. He told me to watch a BBC Whodunnit and all will be fine. So that is what I did. Boy, that Emma Thompson is hot, don't you think? I mean she's no Dame Judy Dench, but still....
What was I talking about?
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Check out these musical links!
1983? I don't think so....
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